Don’t Raise a Brat
By Jill Harmon, LCSW-R, CCTP-II
Are You Raising a Tiny Tyrant?
No parent sets out to raise a brat. You didn’t hold that sweet baby in your arms and say, “One day, you’ll sass a Starbuck’s barista so hard they question their life choices.” But somehow, your kid is acting like they own the house and you’re their personal chef, chauffeur, and emotional support peasant. Let’s fix that.
What Is a Brat, Really?
A “brat” isn’t a permanent condition—it’s a set of behaviors that scream, “I need structure and probably a nap.” Tantrums, entitlement, refusal to listen, and the ability to argue like a tiny Gordon Ramsay? Classic signs. But don’t worry: brat-ness is curable.
• 1. Say No—and Don’t Flinch
Saying “no” to a child might feel like poking a bear, but boundaries are essential. “No” teaches kids they can’t always get their way—even if they collapse dramatically in Target. Let them flop. You’re not negotiating with a tiny hostage taker.
• 2. Stop Auditioning for Parent of the Year
You’re not a cruise director, event planner, or human Pez dispenser. Let your kids be bored. That’s where imagination is born. When you constantly entertain them, they expect the world to respond to boredom with fireworks, snacks, and an emergency playlist.
• 3. Drop the Guilt—and Raise the Bar
Having rules doesn’t make you mean; it makes you sane. You’re not running a democracy —you’re running a household. It’s okay to expect manners, chores, and the occasional “thank you” that isn’t dripping with sarcasm. Remember- you’re the boss, Applesauce.
• 4. Praise the Effort, not the Ego
Instead of “You’re so smart,” try “I’m proud of how hard you worked.” Kids who are praised for effort become more resilient. Kids praised for being “special” can crumble when things get hard.
• 5. Let Natural Consequences Be the Teacher
If they don’t wear a coat, they’ll be cold. If they don’t do homework, they’ll face the teacher. If they refuse their dinner, they will be hungry. Don’t swoop in with a cape and a granola bar—this isn’t a Marvel movie. Let real life do some parenting too.
• 6. Model the Behavior You Want
Yelling “BE NICE!” while swerving through traffic and flipping someone off sends a mixed message. Kids copy your actions—not your TED Talk during morning traffic with a travel mug and a death grip on the steering wheel.
• 7. Feelings Are Valid—But They Don’t Rule
“I know you’re upset” is great. “Fine, here’s the iPad and a cupcake” is not. Validate emotions, but don’t let your child’s mood swings dictate your entire weekend plans. You’re the grown-up—the guide, the guardrails, and the one who knows what’s for dinner (probably).
Parenting Without Panic
Look, we all mess up. Some days you parent like Mary Poppins, other days you’re hiding in the bathroom Googling “can I volunteer for the witness protection program.” The key is consistency, humor, and the ability to hit reset without shame.
Need Backup? We’ve Got You.
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual—but we do have helpful, judgment-free support. Contact us for parenting therapy or coaching to raise kind, resilient kids who aren’t in charge of your household (or your sanity).